Angry Old Women 8-3-12

Good Morning !
"Another day above ground !"  God I hate that reply when I ask someone how they are doing.  It is such a cop-out.  (Don't you love my antiquated expressions?)  I personally don't think that simply being 'above ground' constitutes a basis for your well-being.  Good, bad or indifferent, we are all above ground if we are speaking aloud to each other so cut the cuteness and answer me!!!

As I have grown older, I've noticed that there are certain freedoms that come with age.  I can get away with being blunt and to the point much easier.  People seem to forgive that because I'm old.  Or maybe they don't forgive it,  maybe I just don't care anymore if they are offended.  I've noticed that life is much more blunt and to the point now.  I don't see the pretty flowers or the faded edges on things.  It's factual,  realistic now.

Here's a fact and reality:  I operated under the assumption that ladies got sweeter as they grow older..... Disney must have perpetuated that falsehood.  Do you know any little old ladies that are sweet?  I don't.  My own mother got much meaner as she got older and in her final years, she tormented her caregivers unmercifully.  She was angry and unhappy.  She wasn't in poor health, she had a very nice place to live in and was very well cared for.  But, she was angry and unhappy and at the time I couldn't understand that.

Now I have come to realize that it probably was anger that she couldn't do the physical things she used to be able to do,  she couldn't care for herself and was dependant on others.  She was unhappy that my father was gone, her only son was gone and her daughter, grandchildren and great grandchildren all had lives that did not solely revolve around her.  We all tried to include her in our daily lives but often times that simply wasn't possible.  Had she come to live with us,  we would be visiting a family member in jail right now. 

I shudder to think that I could become that angry old woman.  While I am adopted and do not share a gene pool with her,  I suspect that her behavior isn't hereditary.  It's possibly a natural progression into being old.  We never talked about her anger, her sourness on life.  Now, I wish I had.  I wish I had asked her what she felt and how she perceived her 'senior' years.  Of all the fears I may have or may develop in the years to come,  I think I will fear the most;  becoming an angry, unhappy, sour old woman. 

I tell myself,  'There's still time,  you aren't there yet!'  but does everyone tell themselves that?  Is the slide into that persona so gradual that you don't see it coming and simply accept it as a normal part of getting older?

I consider myself to have had (to this point)...a wonderful life.  I don't want to tarnish that by becoming bitter and angry that I can't have the life I once had.  Where is the middle ground? 

And of course,  there is that elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about.  That cyclone of hormones called menopause.  Shhhhhhh.  Don't say anything and maybe it will go away. 

I have been doing some research concerning how menopause may affect your outlook of life in the later years.  I'll post more about that and how we can possibly prevent ourselves from becoming angry old ladies!